1. They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?2. Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!3. When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.4. The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.5. I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'6. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?7. If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.8. How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.9. It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.10. If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.11. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.12. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Like CLICK……CLICK CLICK CLICK13. Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.14. The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!15. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see,16. Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to!17. The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.18. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.